Here’s something that seems to surprise people in my exam room: I have a deductible too. I pay a premium, I pay a copay, and yes, I pay my own deductible before my insurance starts covering anything, same as you. I am not a magical healthcare fairy who floats above the system everyone else has to live inside. I am a patient with a plan, a card, and a bill, exactly like you are.
Why “Just Waive It” Isn’t a Small Ask
When a parent asks me to skip billing their deductible or copay as a favor, they’re not asking for a nice gesture. They’re asking me to misrepresent my actual charges to an insurer, which is specifically the kind of thing federal law was written to stop. The Civil Monetary Penalties Law defines a waived copay or deductible as “remuneration,” and a provider who does this routinely can be on the hook for penalties up to $10,000 per instance, plus treble damages and exclusion from federal programs (Holland & Hart LLP). New York’s own insurance regulators have said plainly that a physician who waives cost-sharing as a general business practice “may be found guilty of insurance fraud” (NY Department of Financial Services). One-off compassion for a patient in genuine financial hardship is one thing. “Just don’t bill me because it’s annoying” is a different thing entirely, and it’s the thing that gets providers investigated.
Deductibles Are Expensive for Everyone, Including Me
I’m not unsympathetic to the sting. The average employer-sponsored deductible is now around $1,886 a year, and individual market plans can run $5,000 to $7,000 (HealthCareInsider). That’s real money, and I feel it too, on my own plan, for my own family. What I can’t do is make your number disappear by quietly eating the cost or falsifying what I billed. If I did that for you, I’d have to do it for everyone, and eventually I’d be the subject of an audit instead of your pediatrician.
What I Can Actually Do
If you’re genuinely in a hard spot, tell me. There are legitimate paths: documented financial hardship, payment plans, sliding scale programs, and charity care policies that exist specifically so this can be handled honestly instead of off the books. What I can’t do is pretend the bill doesn’t exist, because that’s not kindness, that’s fraud with a friendly face.
The Actual Advice
I’m not asking you to feel bad about your deductible. I’m asking you to stop assuming mine doesn’t exist, and to stop asking me to break federal law so yours feels smaller. Ask for help the legitimate way. I might actually be able to say yes.
Sources:
Holland & Hart LLP, Waiving Copays and Deductibles
New York Department of Financial Services, OGC Opinion No. 05-04-07: Co-payment and Deductible Waivers
HealthCareInsider, What Is the Average Health Insurance Deductible in 2026?