Let’s clear something up before the tinfoil hats start smoking: I am not selling your email address to anybody.
Not to Big Pharma. Not to a shady vitamin company hawking gummies “clinically proven” by a guy named Chad. Not even to that one supplement brand that keeps sliding into my own inbox promising my toddler patients can “unlock their gut potential.”
Nobody is buying your data from me, because I have absolutely no interest in monetizing you. I have a much weirder, much less profitable goal: I want to personally annoy as many people as possible with the truth.
Here’s my business model, in its entirety: there is no business model. I’m not building a funnel. I’m not warming up leads. I’m not “growing an audience to eventually launch a course.” I already have a career, a pension, and enough patience worn thin over thirty years of clinical practice to fuel this operation for free, forever, out of spite and mild delight. My KPI is not conversions. My KPI is how many parents forward this to their group chat with the caption “OMG THIS.”
So no, subscribing to this mailing list will not result in you getting cold-called by a company selling essential oils that “support immune function.” It will result in you getting occasional (OK, maybe daily) emails from a cranky, veteran pediatrician who thinks you deserve better information than what you’re getting from an influencer with blue hair, four kids, and zero medical training, standing in her walk-in closet telling you fever reducers cause autism.
I built this list for one reason: misinformation spreads faster than I can type, and somebody with an actual medical license needs to be spreading the boring, well-researched, evidence-based stuff just as aggressively.
Consider this list less “marketing newsletter” and more “public health carpet bombing, but funny.” I don’t need your email to sell you anything. I need your email so I can show up in your inbox and ruin the vibe of whatever nonsense health trend is currently ruining group texts everywhere.
So subscribe. Genuinely, fearlessly, without hesitation. Your inbox is safe here. Then do me a favor: share this site with every parent you know who has ever texted you a screenshot from an anti-vax Facebook group asking “wait is this true???” Send it to your pediatrician group chat. Send it to your sister-in-law who thinks “natural immunity” is a personality trait. Encourage them to subscribe too. The goal isn’t a mailing list of a hundred thousand people who bought a discount code. The goal is a mailing list of real, tired, confused parents who finally have one place that gives it to them straight, with a little bit of attitude, and absolutely nothing for sale.
Your data is safe. Your inbox is safe. Your patience for pseudoscience, however, will not survive this newsletter. That one’s on me.